Summary: What happens as a result of David’s sin? The kingdom begins to collapse. Amnon—David’s son—rapes his step-sister Tamar (v.14). After Amnon sexually assaults Tamar, he kicked her out of the house (v.15). Tamar was Absalom’s sister, and Absalom never talked about this with Amnon, but Absalom became bitter about it (v.22). Eventually, Absalom had Amnon murdered (v.29). Absalom fled the city until his father had cooled down (v.39).
(13:1) What kind of “love” is this?
Did Amnon lust after his biological sister? We learn later that this is his half-sister (v.4).
(13:2) Amnon became literally sick with lust over Tamar.
(13:3-5) Jonadab (Amnon’s cousin) decides to help Amnon get what he wants—no matter the cost. Why is Jonadab so eager to help? Youngblood writes, “Jonadab may be attempting to secure his own political future by casting his lot with the ambitions of the aggressive Absalom, whom he sees as eventually winning out.”[]
Jonadab sets up a trap for Amnon to rape Tamar: Amnon will feign illness, so that Tamar can be alone with him.
(13:6-8) Amnon sat and watched Tamar make his food, growing in lust for her.
(13:9) After all of that cooking and baking, Amnon “refused to eat.” He didn’t want Tamar’s food at all. He ordered all of his servants to leave, so he could commit his heinous crime.
(13:10-11) After everyone was gone, Amnon demands that Tamar sleep with him. When it says that he “took hold of her,” this is particularly forceful in the Hebrew.[]
Centuries earlier, Potiphar’s wife made this same demand on Joseph (Gen. 39:7), but Joseph was physically strong enough to flee.
(13:12-13) This might not have escalated to rape yet. Tamar could be referring to fornication. If they want to sleep together, they should get married. After all, Tamar was a virgin, and she was saving her virginity for marriage.
On the other hand, Tamar may have been trying to get out of this horrible situation, and this is why she appeals to Amnon to ask the king (v.13). Surely, the king wouldn’t allow incest like this.
Tamar tells her brother to “speak to the king.” She invokes David as an official leader—not as her father. She’s hoping David will judicially act to protect her.
(13:14-15) Amnon raped her. After the horrible deed was done, he threw her out of his room like a piece of trash.
(13:16) Why does Tamar respond this way? Wouldn’t she want to be as far away from Amnon as possible?
(13:17-18) Amnon has her escorted out by one of his servants. This is the same command given in verse 9, when he ordered all of his servants out of the room. Amnon doesn’t call her “my sister” or even “Tamar,” but simply “this woman.” He treats her like an object—not a person.
(13:19) Tamar leaves completely wrecked.
(13:20) How did Absalom know what had happened to Tamar? Did she tell him? Did one of Amnon’s servants tell him? Had gossip merely started to spread?
“Desolate” means “unmarried and childless” (Isa. 54:1).[]
(13:21) David is angry, but he does nothing about it. There is a marked passivity in David after he was morally compromised. Youngblood writes, “David’s guilt in an analogous situation paralyzes him.”[]
(13:22) Absalom grew deeply enraged with Amnon, patiently waiting for the right time to strike.
(13:23-25) Absalom hosts a massive dinner party, and he invites everyone (including Amnon). This is similar to The Great Gatsby (how Gatsby would invite everyone to his parties, just so Daisy would come).
King David tells him that he cannot come, because it would overburden Absalom.
(13:26) Absalom shows his hand, asking specifically for Amnon. At the same time, he refers to Amnon as “my brother,” perhaps to remove suspicions from David.
King David seems to be a little suspicious, asking why Absalom was asking specifically for Amnon. But still, David does nothing, and he caves in. He might think that sending the rest of the brothers would serve to protect Amnon (v.27).
(13:28-29) Absalom doesn’t have Amnon killed secretly, but publically. Absalom has Amnon killed in full view of his brothers, who run for their lives (v.29).
(13:30) The messengers must have had some faulty intel on this incident. Perhaps because all of the brothers went into hiding (v.29), the messengers may have thought that they had died. Remember, this was before the days of text messaging, so they didn’t know where the brothers went.
(13:31) David and his advisers all began to mourn.
(13:32-33) Jonadab was the one who set up this sexual assault in the first place! Now, he is making it look like Absalom is the bad guy, having committed a two-year premeditated murder against Amnon.
(13:34-35) Absalom goes into hiding, and the rest of David’s son arrive.
(13:36-37) David mourned with his sons over the death of Amnon. He mourned “every day” for him (v.37).
(13:37-39) Meanwhile, Absalom seeks asylum with his grandfather, Talmai. Absalom stayed in hiding for three years, until David forgave him and wanted to reconcile with him.
This chapter shows how David’s sin has had an effect on his family. Because he was unfaithful, this had a corporate effect on his family, and eventually, his nation.
These two sins (rape and murder) parallel David’s sins: “David’s adultery with Bathsheba is mirrored in his son Amnon’s rape of Tamar, and David’s murder of Uriah is reprised in Absalom’s execution of Amnon.”[]
Ronald F. Youngblood, “1, 2 Samuel,” in The Expositor’s Bible Commentary: Deuteronomy, Joshua, Judges, Ruth, 1 & 2 Samuel, ed. Frank E. Gaebelein, vol. 3 (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan Publishing House, 1992), 959.
Ronald F. Youngblood, “1, 2 Samuel,” in The Expositor’s Bible Commentary: Deuteronomy, Joshua, Judges, Ruth, 1 & 2 Samuel, ed. Frank E. Gaebelein, vol. 3 (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan Publishing House, 1992), 960.
Ronald F. Youngblood, “1, 2 Samuel,” in The Expositor’s Bible Commentary: Deuteronomy, Joshua, Judges, Ruth, 1 & 2 Samuel, ed. Frank E. Gaebelein, vol. 3 (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan Publishing House, 1992), 965.
Ronald F. Youngblood, “1, 2 Samuel,” in The Expositor’s Bible Commentary: Deuteronomy, Joshua, Judges, Ruth, 1 & 2 Samuel, ed. Frank E. Gaebelein, vol. 3 (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan Publishing House, 1992), 965.
Ronald F. Youngblood, “1, 2 Samuel,” in The Expositor’s Bible Commentary: Deuteronomy, Joshua, Judges, Ruth, 1 & 2 Samuel, ed. Frank E. Gaebelein, vol. 3 (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan Publishing House, 1992), 969.
James is an elder at Dwell Community Church, where he teaches classes in theology, apologetics, and weekly Bible studies.
